^{Happy Friday & Welcome to} 🌿 ^{NOURISHED, a weekly newsletter to help women over 40 re-prioritize themselves so they can feel healthier, stronger, more present, and confident. I share personal stories and experience, wellness, fitness, and Perimenopause advice specific to women over 40. Was this sent to you? Subscribe here}

A Peek Inside:

• A brutal truth

• How change happens

• Steal my script

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You Can’t (and won’t) Please Everyone

I tell my kids this all the time. In part to bring levity to situations, but also to let them know that there will always be people who don’t like: that dress, that idea, that haircut. But if they like it, if it makes them feel good - that’s all that really matters. When you abandon yourself for the approval of others, your confidence takes a hit whether you realize it or not.

The same thing will happen to you when you outgrow old versions of yourself. Whether that means becoming a runner or sober or changing careers or moving to a new country.

You can’t please everyone.

Will you let them stop you?

We left off last week learning that when there is a disconnect between your goal and your identity or values, you will often fail at achieving that goal (and your confidence will take a hit).

You need alignment with not only your goal, but what that goal really means to you. Why you want to go from A→B. What that will mean for your identity while you’re on that journey and once you get there.

So. Clarity first.

1. Think about a goal you’re working towards. What are a few of the actions or habits you need to master in order to reach that goal?

2. Now, envision what kind of person you need to be in order to be able to do those actions consistently.

3. Think about the daily habits, the mindset, the routines this person keeps.

How Behavior Change Happens

Making change means changing what we can control:

• the mindset we adopt and practice (including the beliefs, values, and priorities we choose);

• our environment (to some degree);

• our behavior. the daily actions, practices, and skills that lead us to achieving our goals.

For now, let’s just focus on the behaviors. You’ll need to work through identifying what you want and when; how you will know when you’ve achieved the goal; and how you want to feel when you get there.

Grab some paper or open your notes app.

Steal my script:

I want [outcome goal] in [time frame].

I will know I’ve achieved this goal when [objective measurement of outcome goal.]

I want to feel [subjective measurement of outcome goal] when I accomplish it.

Example:

I want to have better recovery in 6 weeks.

I will know I’ve achieved this goal when I can complete four strength workouts per week as programmed, without taking any pain medication.

I want to feel more energized and capable when I accomplish this.

→ Now identify the skills you will need to practice.

In order to achieve [goal], I will need to improve my ability to [skill], [skill], [skill].

In order to achieve my goal of improving recovery, I will need to improve my ability to eat enough nutrients, prepare, and get deep sleep.

→ Next, choose some practices to help you build each skillset.

For the first two weeks, in order to build my [skill], I will [practice].

For weeks 3-4, in order to build my [skill], I will [practice].

For weeks 5-6, in order to build my [skill], I will [practice].

→ Now, prioritize. You can’t take all of it on at once (this is where most people go wrong at the jump). Which skill will you focus on developing first? Which practice within that skill is most important right now?

I will start by focusing on [skill].

I will start focusing on [skill] by [practice].

Example:

I will start by focusing on eating enough nutrients.

In order to build my skills at eating enough nutrients, I will start by practicing eating enough protein.

This is an incredible tool for you to fight through the noise of the 56-step wellness routines and simplify. It requires you to look at all 56 things and narrow it down to what you really what by inspecting why you want it and how you’ll get there. It will force you to really identify what you need to do, provide you with a roadmap, and help you stay focused. You’ll end up with a few goals that move the needle the most and a clear plan that won’t overwhelm you. And if it feels too big to tackle, break it down even smaller. You don’t need to abandon your goal, you just need smaller steps.

Use this script for any of your goals and you’ll create a legitimate plan to accomplish them. 💪

xo, Tara

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